Weird Words

I ordered this brilliant Boober (Fraggle Rock) tshirt from 80stees but they apparently got it from somewhere else. And on the inside, where the tag (actual or screen printed) should be... is some sort of dictionary or manifesto. It's strange. I will try and transcribe it as it appears, as best I can (spelling, punctuation, spacing, etc.= sic):

The Emperors New Clothes

http://www.enctees.com/

MADE IN AMERICA

100% COTTON

Wash with care, do not mix with minty Greens,

or girlie pinks etc....... *iron on reverse*

Wash with cold water, take pride with this beauty, cheers.

DON'T TRAVEL OUTSIDE YOUR COUNTRY:

THERE ARE LANGUAGE DIFFICULTIES, ESTUARY ENGLISH,

IT SOUNDS THE SAME, BUT IT'S NOT.

AVOID DEATH. IT CAN HURT.
COUNCIL ESTATE PRINCESS

PROJECT ROCK(IST)
trailer trash stories...

ESTUARY ENGLISH, OR ENGLISH ENGLISH:

Pissed - Drunk, not angry.

Tomato/Geiser/deodorant/alluiminium/mate/dude

Bollox - Sucks, not the truth, a staple word.

Fag - Cigarette

Gaff - Apartment

innit - Is it not?

Corta Panda - quarter pound cheese burger

Fit - Attractive/hot

Easside - East Side

Donut/Muppet - idiot, no style, no class

Oi Oi - Traditional greeting

Up Tan/Dan Tan - Uptown/Downtown

Yafta - you must/obliged

Yooz - the assembled company

Cockney Slang - avin a bubble bath (having a laugh)

Rub a dub dub - Pub, Glory be - Tea, Fish & Shrimp - Pimp

Dog & Bone, Eau de Cologne - the phone. 4 by 4, boat & Oar - ?

Trouble and Strife - Wife. Milky Way, Cafe au Lait - Gay.

Very Chandelier, Buccaneer, Ginger beer - Queer.

Adam & Eve - Believe, Ooh La La - Bra.

Melvyn Bragg - Shag. Holyfield's Ear - Year.

Harry Dash - Flash. Laters.

ROCK(IST).

(ps- Blogger and I are not getting along w/r/t images and where they should go, what size they should be, how they can be moved/edited/etc. nor do we agree on my time zone or where paragraph breaks should go. ARgh.)